Uh huh.

Is there really anything else that needs to be said here?

God's first two groups? Lazy, Stupid, and Godless... and Atheist & Agnostic Crafters.

Meh.

I'm trying to get back into the groove of knitting. I wanted to make a naughty Valentine's Heart Pillow from the Domiknitrix book...



But, alas, I suck at embroidery. Sheesh. I can't do anything right these days! I guess I'll go back to socks and crocheting squares for Babette and stuff. Although, I might end up cutting a "FUCK OFF" or "OMG WTF" out of felt for this pillow.

I should have known.

There is clearly no fucking god.

Post-steek:


Look, I can accept that I'm weirdly proportioned. But it really fucked me in the ass this time. Had I made the 37" size of the Autumn Rose, the chest area would be baggy. But I made the 35", which fits fine in the chest, and no where else. I have fat arms and a thick midsection. This sweater fits neither. Oh, but the boob area? Fucking perfect. I guess I just need breast implants to make my body proportional and a re-knit in a larger size...

...over my dead body.

Motherfucker.

God damn motherfucking cuntlicking COCKSUCKER.

I guess I really need to drop a bunch of weight to wear this. All that work! A month of monogamous knitting! Do I even bother with the neck ribbing and weaving in the 7,000 ends?

WHAT THE FUCK? Those motifs are circles, not ovals! AUGH! I had no idea I had gotten so fat.

Time to get drunk and cry. Whoever said knitting is relaxing needs to go jump off a fucking cliff.

Hmmm....

This is a bad time to be having doubts about this sweater. I'll just chalk it up to cold feet. For now. Maybe it's just the looming steek I'm afraid of...

A couple FOs and a Harlot

Last Friday, Amanda and I went to go see the Yarn Harlot. We ran into Meg! We waited to get Meg's book signed for her because she's still on the mend! We met Carolyn in all that waiting! There's no point in me saying much else. You all know the Yarn Harlot, you know she's funny...



...and even though I look dreadful, I held the sock.

Oh well. All that waiting was conducive to plenty of knitting. My mom found four balls of Lion Brand Landscapes (in Rose Garden) at Big Lots for very cheap, and they made their way into my Easter basket. I didn't waste a lot of time figuring out to do with it. When I left I had very little done on a scarf:




And there it is, all neatly finished up. I pretty much did the whole thing while waiting to meet Stephanie.

One more day of knitting gave me a matching hat:



But don't you all worry. I've joined the sleeves to the body on the Colorblind Librarian Autumn Rose sweater. It's one piece now, and it shouldn't be too much longer before I get to steek and finish everything up. I'm thinking I'll need a nice glass of wine before I take scissors to that damn thing. Really. The thought frightens me. Um, just like realizing it's not too long until my first exam also frightens me...

For good measure, I'll leave you with Orangecat on a wet sweater.

Naughty

Repeat after me, folks: NOT A CAT BED!

Progress

The Colorblind Librarian Sweater is coming along nicely. With the aid of a long weekend, I have completed the body up to the armpits and a few inches of a sleeve. I can't believe how quickly this sucker is coming together!



Well, okay. There's still plenty more knitting to be had on it, of course. I'm also starting to suspect that I WAY overbought the the yarn in the gray tones. I suck at guessing. I'm on my second ball of black, and all of the other colors are holding steady; I'm even starting to doubt I'll need a second ball of white! Perhaps at the very end for the neckline ribbing?

The only other real development here is the new titanium in my body:



Three tasty microdermal anchors. Love 'em. And I know you all don't believe me, but no, it didn't really hurt.

Too fun

I found myself a little too amused by Ravelry's April Fool's Day pranks. First Fabio and Happy Hooker were in my library:



Than my parrot-hat shat on my head:



And here's a few random favorite "hat" icons, including an "asshat":



Nothing else to report on this front!