There is clearly no fucking god.
Look, I can accept that I'm weirdly proportioned. But it really fucked me in the ass this time. Had I made the 37" size of the Autumn Rose, the chest area would be baggy. But I made the 35", which fits fine in the chest, and no where else. I have fat arms and a thick midsection. This sweater fits neither. Oh, but the boob area? Fucking perfect. I guess I just need breast implants to make my body proportional and a re-knit in a larger size...
...over my dead body.
God damn motherfucking cuntlicking COCKSUCKER.
I guess I really need to drop a bunch of weight to wear this. All that work! A month of monogamous knitting! Do I even bother with the neck ribbing and weaving in the 7,000 ends?
WHAT THE FUCK? Those motifs are circles, not ovals! AUGH! I had no idea I had gotten so fat.
Time to get drunk and cry. Whoever said knitting is relaxing needs to go jump off a fucking cliff.